Vampire Gang*
*[Prologue]*
My name is Elizabeth, just Elizabeth. You wonder ¿why? It's because of what happened that I'm no longer Elizabeth Allen, a 17 year old girl in their third year of high school anymore. So now, I'm nothing but a ghost wondering around the streets. I'm nobody. For those that met me before it all happened I'm dead. And in some way I am, just not in the way they think I am.
It all started with Lilith Academy. A very prestigious academy with the best curriculum, right smack in the middle of nowhere, Northern United States. It has nothing out of the ordinary for a prestigious academy. It has classrooms, books, shelves, teachers with thousands of college degrees and at least 20 years of experience teaching under their bealts, and of course it was found 300 years ago. The academy even has it's own urban leyend, which has nothing to do with some kid that died in the basement or ghosts with unfinished business wandering the hallways at night.
When my parents told me I was being transferred, I searched a little about it on the internet, and found this strange webpage. "An academy with monsters, creatures of the night, roaming around the school. It's their territory and if you dare to cross paths with them or defy their leadership in their domains, you shall end up dead" it said. So, thinking it was some kind of lame joke, I let it go. But that's not the case, the thing is that I was wrong and things were a little more serious than that.
I'm not saying that I regret going there, because it's not true. The things I lived there were the scariest moments of my life, but now, they belong with me. They are part of who I am. Because after it's all over, I find myself enjoying my current situation, sitting in a cozy couch next to the window, looking at my gorgeous beautiful angel sleeping in his bed, with nothing to worry about anymore. I can protect him now, just like he protected me in those moments. Those dark memories that are carved in my memory like if it was stone. It's a perk now, I guess, that comes with inmortality.
So, here's my story, part of Dorian's story too. It happened a long time ago, and if it wasn't for my fangs, you wouldn't believe I was there to live through it. But it's true, and my name, it's still Elizabeth.
Grammar: In the first paragraph, there should probably be a period after 'streets' and have 'I'm nobody' be a separate sentence.
Also in the first paragraph, I think there should be a period after 'I'm dead'. Then the next sentence could read something like 'I'm not dead in the way you might think,however'((<<that's just an example. you can word it however you like, of course
In the second paragraph, 'academy' should not be capitilized. You put 'a very presigious Academy'-->shouldn't be capitilized since in that sentence it isn't referring to a specific academy.
Again, good job and keep it up!
You need to look at the grammar, though. There are misspellings that you would probably see if you read through the story again. Also, there are some run on sentences that could be re-phrased or written to be multiple sentences.
Other than that, great job, keep up the good work!
Thank you for being nice and I'll be sure to keep it up. >w<